


Lead the way

by Beezarre (Dibee)



Category: Holby City
Genre: Berena Secret Santa 2018, F/F, Ice Skating, Mutual Pining, general cuteness, hand holding, with an added Jason and a sprinkling of the AAU team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17351756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dibee/pseuds/Beezarre
Summary: Serena has realised she likes her women like she likes her coffee, strong and hot. Well, there’s only the one woman so far, and when the ice rink brings back memories of her estranged children, Serena offers to go with her. Maybe strong and cold isn’t so bad, after all.A #berenasecretsanta 2018 fic for @ariverandasong!The prompt was ‘hand holding and mutual pining’.





	Lead the way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [robliz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/robliz/gifts).



> A #berenasecretsanta 2018 fic for @ariverandasong! :D
> 
> The prompt was ‘hand holding and mutual pining’.
> 
> Have a happy very belated Christmas, from me and your ghost Santa!

Holby City Council had decided to try something new that year, and Serena had been intent on ignoring it completely. The last time she had gone ice skating was when Elinor was 5, Elinor had been a natural and she'd spent the whole time stumbling her way to catch up to her while Edward remained by the bar and chatted up the barmaid. It had been his idea in the first place. Actually, that about summed up their relationship.

So when Fletch had asked her to join him and the children, she had declined, politely but firmly. When Raf had asked, she had smiled and waved it off, wishing them fun and ordering them not to break anything, she needed them in one piece. When Morven had asked she had nearly caved. She had gone skating with Arthur and didn't have the heart to go on her own. Raf had suggested she joined his adopted family and that had solved the question.

And then Bernie had asked her if she would be visiting the temporary ice rink, and the idea of braving the bustling Christmas market and making a fool of herself on ice hadn't seemed that bad. Especially not when she looked at her like that. She had that feeling that Bernie was one of those people who could glide effortlessly and made everyone stop, stare, and fall face first right where they stood. 

When Bernie had asked how good a skater she was, Serena had mumbled something and been saved from giving a proper answer by a car crash victim. She'd struggled to keep her eyes off Bernie a number of times since they had kissed on the theatre floor, colliding with far more people, and a couple inanimate objects, than her pride would normally allow, yet the idea of watching Bernie stretch her legs around the rink outweighed the shame she knew she'd feel if she failed to skate in a straight line. Admittedly Bernie had proven herself to be the key to discovering she wasn't quite as straight as she'd previously thought, but there was no used in illustrating that on ice.

What did it was the look on Bernie’s face one evening as they walked out of Albie’s together. She’d paused and asked, but Bernie had shaken her head, pretending it was nothing. Serena knew her, had spent more than long enough staring at her to know when something was wrong, and Bernie had admitted that she missed her kids. They’d go ice skating around Christmas time when she was home, and she missed it. Neither of them had answered her texts. 

She didn’t fancy joining Fletch & Co, wasn’t sure she could put a brave enough face. And that’s how Serena had offered to go with her. Just them, alone, on the ice. Because that’s what friends do. Bernie had hesitated at first, but upon seeing that Serena was serious about it, albeit already reconsidering her frankly ridiculous offer but not willing to let her friend down, she agreed, and they’d agreed to meet the next day.

“It’s a date!” Bernie had mumbled something about Serena knowing what she meant and looked away, opening her car door and slipping inside before Serena had time to react. She had all but managed to wave as she drove off. Shivering in the cold air she got inside her own car and let her forehead hit the steering wheel with a soft ‘thud’. She heard someone knock at her window and looked up to meet Morven’s concerned eyes.

“Are you okay?” She’d nodded with a smile. Morven didn’t seem too convinced but was just as cold as she was and didn’t press.

Once at home, she announced her intention to go to the ice rink with Bernie the next day, knowing Jason wouldn’t want to join them. He strongly disliked not being in complete control of his movements, and ice skating was at the very top of the list of ways this happened, along with drinking alcohol and most pain meds.   
While pain meds couldn’t be avoided in most cases, he steered well clear of the other two, and would only tag along if he got to visit the market. He wasn’t too fond of too crowded places, but he’d heard Alan talk about a couple stands he wanted to visit. He spent the rest of the evening carefully planning which stands to visit to avoid the most populous areas, while Serena stared at her wine like it held the answer to all her problems.

At the moment she felt like she had 99 problems and about 98,5 were linked to a certain trauma surgeon. The remaining 0,5 combined Edward (who once counted as a whole problem but was no longer worth the bother), Elinor’s unruliness (which wasn’t currently at the forefront of her thoughts as her daughter had only offered monosyllabic replies to her texts for the past two months and wasn’t even sure she’d be doing Christmas with her yet), Jason’s needs (which were currently being met or so it appeared), and the renewing of her wine membership, which was a rather easy problem to tackle. 

She decided to do that, feeling like she might indeed need more wine to deal with the next day’s fallout. She was startled out of her reverie, which had reverted back to a certain blonde, by a text from the blonde in question. Bernie had never been expansive, but nothing showcased that better than her texting.

“Hi. Don’t forget your hat tomorrow. Ice is chilly.”

Serena laughed. If they hadn’t been the same age she could have believed Bernie had grown up with the telegraph as main mean of communication.

“I won’t. Wear gloves, you’ve got to protect your assets.” She debated whether or not to add a winking emoji before thinking better of it. Maybe she had had too much wine.

She had trouble finding sleep that night, trying to remember what she had been taught about ice skating, which was very little and had never been much use to her in the past. At least if she fell in Bernie’s arms it really wouldn’t be on purpose. She was strong, she’d proved it more than once, army and all… She tried not to think about that, then tried not to think of her fingers, or her fringe, or her legs, or her smile, and drifted off to sleep failing not to think about her eyes.

She woke up to the sound of the bins being collected, and took the five minutes she still had until her alarm sounded to wonder what Bernie was like in her day to day life, taking her bins out in slippers, and… did Bernie have slippers? If so what did they look like? 

She was startled by her alarm as she’d started picturing Bernie in fluffy bunny slippers she imagined could have been a prank gift from former colleagues, or even her children. If she ever met those two, she’d have a word with them! And not about slippers! 

She cut her thought process short when it started drifting toward Bernie as a mother of small children, pushing swings and baking cakes. Time for strong coffee, strong and hot, just like she liked her women apparently. Well, just the one as far as she could tell, but that was already a little too much for her racing heart, and not something she could pledge to reduce in her new year’s resolutions either.

Jason was not in a talkative mood and they had breakfast in silence. He went over the map one more time and announced he was ready. They’d agreed to go a little earlier than Serena and Bernie had planned to meet at the ice rink so Serena had some time to check out the stands too. Was 9am too early for mulled wine?

Serena had not really been paying attention to the fruit of Jason’s research on the history of Holby City Christmas Market, and the hot cocoa she had gone for was lukewarm by the time she finished it. Jason disappeared in a side alley with a wave, leaving her to make her way to the ice rink. With all the neon arrows and the frankly ridiculous queue, you couldn’t miss it.   
There were quite a lot of excited children bouncing around parents who seemed to already regret their decision. Bernie was leaning against a railing not too far away, eating ice cream. Who on earth eats ice cream in the middle of December? 

Serena took advantage of the fact her co-lead hadn’t spotted her yet to observe her. Bernie tended to do everything she did intently, and apparently eating ice cream was yet another thing to add to the list, not that Serena was keeping one. She decided to stop staring in case Bernie looked up and caught her, and walked toward her. Bernie’s smile blinded her for a moment as she took in the hat and the no doubt red cheeks Serena was now sporting.

“Ready?” Bernie was biting the cone now and her question didn’t register in Serena’s mind right away.

“Ready.” No she wasn’t. God, she wasn’t. The things this woman had her do…

They had time to chat as the queue slowly trickled onto the ice. Serena struggled with her skates and Bernie was helping her before she had time to ask in what looked like practiced moves.

“I have my own, but they’re in storage.” Sometimes Serena wondered just how much of her life Bernie kept in storage. No wonder she had been so deep in the closet…

Walking on solid ground on skates had never been Serena’s forte and she had to steady herself using Bernie’s offered arm more times than she would have been ready to admit. Bernie stepped onto the ice first, effortlessly floating and letting a small child skate along the edge by skating backwards. Serena was starting to worry about the number of small children that would overtake her.

Noticing Serena’s discomfort or wishing to be close to her, Bernie offered her arm again and Serena managed not to fall before her second blade hit the ice. She wobbled as it did and they shared a light-hearted laugh. Bernie seemed to have understood her predicament and gave her a few pointers that no longer seemed completely nonsensical now that she was the one saying it. 

Serena managed to skate in a somewhat straight if wobbly line, her guardian angel at her elbow. She was going at snail’s pace though, and the faster skaters around them were making her head spin. Bernie extended her hand and Serena frowned. She was facing her, and apparently intent on encouraging her more adventurous streak. Trusting her implicitly, she took the offered hand, then the other when she felt Bernie pull her forward, herself skating backward and avoiding colliding into other skaters with a grace Serena had trouble processing. 

Somehow, Bernie holding her made her feet do the right thing, possibly because she wasn’t so focused on them anymore. In fact all she focused on was the cute small smile and the twinkling eyes facing her. They parted to let a pair of children through, but Bernie seized her hand again like it was the most natural thing in the world and they started skating side by side. She suspected Bernie hadn’t even noticed, knew she wasn’t one to initiate contact, save for that one time in theatre, but they’d agreed to keep it in theatre, after all, to Serena’s regret. 

She was starting to regret having told her to wear gloves. She wasn’t wearing any herself, and could feel the heat from Bernie’s hand through the fleece. It was pretty clear to Serena that Bernie was slowing down for her benefit, and she soon asked her to lead the way to the side benches so she could rest for a sec, inviting her to keep skating. And so she did. From her ease Serena suspected Bernie hadn’t just skated a few times with her kids, but had a much longer practice. There were no figures or complicated steps, but a fluidity in her movements that took her breath away. When she came back to her Bernie had rosy cheeks and even more stars in her eyes.

“Fancy another go?” She extended her hands to help Serena get up and Serena took them without a hint of hesitation.

“Lead the way.”


End file.
